I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
