I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
