My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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