On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
