Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I want is dick and wine.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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