This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
