I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
