Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think i peed on brittanys purse
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
