I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
