Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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