too bad you live with your parents still
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
