It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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