I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will pee on everything he values.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
