He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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