fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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