You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i now understand why vodka
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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