what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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