Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
