I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
