This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
