Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Randomize