wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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