I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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