Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
