I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
