somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
