I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
