Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
