would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
