I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Drake has all the answers
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
