for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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