Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
