Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
