Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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