"it" just moved
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
