it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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