i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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