Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
