i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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