i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
