he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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