she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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