I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
