Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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