so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
