Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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