Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
