I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
