Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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