He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think your dad took our porno
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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