Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
